Once upon a time there was a man and a boy .One day the boy wanted to see how the sun sparkled in the sky. The boy and man went into the water with the glimmering sun shining on them, as bright as fire. The man got a match and lit it. He threw the match up into space and the sun got bigger. When the boy tried, he couldn't throw it hard and high enough. The man thought he was to small so he got a very high ladder. The boy climbed on the ladder and tried to throw it as fast as a cheetah but only threw it as fast as a snail and as far as a piece of A3 paper. The boy and man were both as sad as a monkey with no bananas. The boy thought of something, he could strike the matches, and the man could throw them! So they worked together the whole day and lived happily ever after!
Hi Jax,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story and I can see that you have used similes in your writing. I wonder if you could think about using different language features?
Also do you think you could sort this into paragraphs? I think you could and it would make it easier to read.